butterflies, rainbows, and why it’s not about me

i’d like to share with you a little something i discovered. it’s an important secret to life and it has really changed my entire outlook today. so are you ready for this? get a pen and paper ready because you’re gonna want to write this down.

ok. here goes. my big epiphany….

life isn’t always rainbows and butterflies.

shocking i know!  oh wait…what do you mean?…you already knew this??

ok.  obviously, i’m being a little silly. but i’ve been thinking about this a lot today.

i spend an awful lot of time and energy on my blog talking about and focusing on stuff like rainbows and butterflies. and why not? – it’s pretty and happy. and who doesn’t want to think about pretty, happy stuff.

but as we all know, life isn’t always pretty and happy. for me personally, it seems like the past couple of weeks have very much been about:

dog hair   CAT SHIT   reserve categories  ­junk mail   overwhelm  back fat retirement accounts dirty socks weeds sinus drainage split ends dirty dishes what am I going to make for dinner powerlessness effective lateral lengths chin hairs stretched too thin wanting to be in two places at once hormones plaster vs sheet rock frustration

by nature, i’m a pretty upbeat, positive person. but when everything seems to pile up at once, i tend to get overwhelmed, strung out, and (I’m embarrased to say this) and little whiney.

often when I get to feeling like I’m in the middle of a shit storm, i think of that saying – i know you’ve probably heard it before –

“instead of telling God how big your storm is, tell the storm how big your God is.”

if i’m being completely honest, i’ve done a bit of both the past couple of weeks.  so this morning as i walked up to my building for day two of “crunch week” at work (God help me), i was telling the storm about how big my God is. and then it dawned on me, as someone who’s been living in a state that’s been in some degree of drought for the past several years, what if the ‘storm’ for me is actually bringing much needed rain to someone else.

could it be? omg dare I say it?

it’s not always about me.

trust me….you have no idea… no one was more surprised to discover this than yours truly.

all joking aside, it really did hit me that much of my prayer the past couple of weeks has been about happiness, both for myself and for my loved ones who’ve been dealing with far more difficult situations than back fat and pet hair.

what i’ve learned is that my prayers, while very well-meaning, have been short-sighted. i don’t have the power to see life in all directions like God does. i’m not privy to the plan.  and if that’s the case, then what’s a girl to do in times like this? well, it seems as if there is nothing more i can do than to say my prayers and trust God.

so today i’m still going to tell the storm about my big, awesome God. but maybe i’ll also try dancing in the rain while i wait for the rainbow.

peace, kelly