tuesday was a very sad day…we said goodbye to our beloved pumpkin.
her health had been declining for the past several months, but this past week i noticed that she seemed to be exceptionally weak and frail. and even more worrisome, she often appeared to be having trouble breathing.
so i took pumpkin to the vet on tuesday morning knowing in my gut that wasn’t going to be good news. dr. wendy confirmed my fears…pumpkin’s lungs had filled with fluid and there wasn’t anything she could do except perhaps a steroid shot to help with her breathing. but even then, it would only prolong the inevitable for a week or so.
it was time. it was time to say goodbye to pumpkin.
this is not the first time i have been in this situation. nevertheless…having this particular experience offers no comfort at all. losing a pet is heartbreaking.
pets take up such a special place in our hearts and in our lives. they are a constant presence always right under your feet or just around the corner. and they ask for so little, yet give back so much more…in pumpkin’s case it was 16 years of unconditional love in return for a sunny spot on the bed to nap.
i’ve had cats all my life, but pumpkin was different. truly…she was the sweetest, most lovable cat i’ve ever owned. her favorite place to be was wherever you were…except at christmastime, where she camped out under the tree. or unless there was a basket of freshly laundered towels that she could make a nest in.
these past several years, pumpkin was also a willing subject for my photography practice. and, as you are probably familiar with, her long hair was a well-documented subject on my blog. but the thing i will remember the most is pumpkin’s purr….she purred all the time. a constant low hum. like a soft, gentle ocean wave…in and out, back and forth. her signature sign of contentment.
for the past several months, pumpkin mostly stayed curled up in our master closet. i think she liked that it felt protected. (and warm – you could always count on pumpkin to find the warmest place in the house.) every day when i get home from work, the first thing i do is go upstairs and change clothes. and there pumpkin would be curled up on my pile of laundry. purring of course. and as i would get undressed, she would roll around and stretch…reaching her front paws way out and then wait for me to rub her belly and chin. she loved that.
i keep thinking that she’s just down the hall. or i’ll hear something and think ‘oh it’s just pumpkin’.
i already miss her.
i miss her purr. i miss the sound of her fluffy paws softly padding across the wood floor. i miss the way she should would rub against my legs as i laced up my running shoes. i miss her jumping on the bed at night and kneading on my belly. i miss how she would come into the office and sit on my lap and rest her chin on my forearm as i typed.
tuesday morning, i cradled pumpkin in my arms as she drifted off to sleep…as always, her soft, gentle purr was such a comfort. but as sad as it was to have to say goodbye, in that moment, what i felt most was gratitude…. gratitude for sixteen years of love and companionship. my hope is that as she passed away, she did so knowing how much she was loved.
rest in peace, sweet girl.
I am so very sorry for your loss! Our pets are so much more than just “pets”.
so true christine. thank you so much for your kind words. xo
She definitely knew of your love for her! 🙂 hugs and kisses!
thank you friend. xo
Oh dear Kelly, what a beautiful loving tribute to your sweet Pumpkin. How blessed she was to be with you and share all those years. I send you a huge hug. Be gentle to yourself in these days, gentle. Grief is a rough old river to wade.
thank you, pam. xo
Oh, Kelly, you have my deepest sympathy. I’ve always said that the most unfair thing is that our pets can’t live as long as we do. And because of that, we have to keep experiencing this pain over and over again when it’s time to let them go. Oh, but the joy they bring us is worth every ounce of pain! Your photos definitely express your love for her. I hope all the sweet memories you have from the past 16 years will be a comfort to you. <3
you are so right terri. thank you for the kind words. xo
I’m so sorry. Made me remember our furry family members who have passed on throughout the years. Yes, take it easy for a while.
thank you so much, gina.
note to self: don’t read posts with the words goodbye in the title at work!! so beautifully written, kelly. what a sweet and lovely kitters!!
thank you sweet friend. xo
Losing a pet is never easy and I’m so very sorry for your loss. Two things to remember – Pumpkin is no longer in pain and you have captured her very spirit and those forever moments in your beautiful photography that will always be with you. My deepest condolences.
thank you so much for your kind words annie. xo
It’s just the saddest experience there is because it is in such sharp contrast to all the happiness, loyalty and love they bring us. I’m so sorry Kelly.Your pictures make me feel like I am petting her myself, and they clearly show her unique personality. I know you will miss her.
thank you sweet friend. xo
I am so very, very sorry, Kelly.
I know how much this hurts.
Fly high, Sweet Pumpkin.
thank you friend. xo
I couldn’t bring myself to comment on this until today. It always saddens me when I learn or hear that people’s furry friends/companions have passed on. Being a cat lover (animal lover too) it brought tears to my eyes to hear that you lost your sweet Pumpkin. She was just a gorgeous cat and I know she was well loved and her memories will be cherished for many years to come. May she rest in Peace & be free from pain and suffering. May you be comforted by her memories.