so have you guys heard of this book?
image courtesy of wikipedia.
it was written by american author adam mansback with illustrations by ricardo cortes. and it has been described as a ‘children’s book for adults’.
the story goes that go the f**k to sleep was inspired by the author’s two year-old daughter, vivian and her struggles to fall asleep at night. according to wikipedia:
exhausted and exasperated, one night mansbach posted a note on facebook, “look out for my forthcoming children’s book, Go the — to Sleep“.
just so you know, although it has the appearance of a children’s book, this book is written especially for (frustrated) adult parents of young children (lots of curse words) and is meant to be taken tongue-in-cheek. i personally thought it was hilarious the first time i read it and could totally relate. i mean who hasn’t had a child ask for ‘one more drink’ or beg for one more round of ‘go dog go’.
anyway, lately this book resonates with me on a different level. because instead of a two-year old child, this is what i found myself saying in my head on any given night around 2:30 a.m.
hello insomnia.
friends, i’m not kidding…insomnia is going to be thing that sends me over the edge. to be clear, i’m not talking about the occasional restless night here or there. i mean that happens to all of us from time to time. no big deal right. no what i’m talking about is weeks of debilitating, soul-crushing, spirit-sapping insomnia. walking around in a sleep-deprived fog for days on end. i’m talking the walking dead.
sidenote #1…i would just like to state for the record that i believe zombies are not actually infected by some pathogen, rather they are just hormonal and sleep-deprived.
sidenote #2…can we please just be done with zombies? please??
the final straw for me to do something about my insomnia was the night i lay in bed… sweating, mind racing, tossing and turning. all. night. long. truly – i bet i didn’t sleep for more than 30 minutes straight that night. so i did the one thing i have warned my daughter within an inch of her life of doing…
i googled it.
now i know what you’re thinking, ‘kelly why don’t you just go to the doctor and get some sleeping pills?’ and that is a legitimate suggestion. except for two problems: #1 i hate going to the doctor and #2 i hate taking medicine. what can i say…i am my father’s daughter.
plus i have heard all kinds of stories about people who’ve taken prescription sleeping pills and find themselves standing out in the front yard in their nightgowns watering their plants. {{shudder}}
anyway, after about an hour or so on the interwebs i came away with a few helpful hints. and that night i put them into practice to see if it would make any difference. and you guys…it totally did. so i thought i might share what worked for me in the hopes that it might help someone else.
before i share what i did, you guys know i’m not a doctor right? and all that jazz about not taking anything without consulting your own personal physician. you know the drill.
so here is how i got myself the f**k to sleep.
- no electronics an hour before bed. that includes my computer and my phone (tv doesn’t seem to bother me). that means no scrolling through instagram while tripp is watching the news.
- i gave up booze for a few weeks. not that i drink alot, but booze definitely increases the frequency and severity of hotflashes for me.
- i stopped running. this served two purposes a) anxiety about not being able to fall asleep so that i could get up to go run was causing me anxiety and keeping me from falling asleep and b) i read somewhere where high-intensity exercise can sometimes exacerbate insomnia.
- i cut out all junk food – crackers, chips, cookies, sugar – all those carbs that i had been eating for fuel in the afternoon because i was literally running on fumes.
- for one week i took half of a 3mg melatonin. and yes i know that totally goes against what i said before, but friends i was in a DEFCON 5 situation on a one-way bus to crazytown.
i’m not sure if it was any one thing in particular or the combined effects of all of these changes, but whatever it was, it worked. within a week i was able to fall asleep at a decent hour (between 10:30 and 11:30 p.m.) and sleep all night until 6:00 or so in the morning.
{insert choir of angles here}
i don’t know if you’ve ever experienced anything like this, but insomnia, in my experience, is very much a snowball type thing…the more you can’t sleep, the more you can’t sleep. and trying to lead a ‘normal’ life and going about the business of your day only adds to the snowball. so you have to break the cycle. and sometimes that requires a little help. something i am not good at asking for, but something that i am so eternally grateful for today.
because i like it when i see the world through these eyes so much more.
peace, kelly
Bwah! I just snorted herbal tea up my nose. By accident! Not on purpose. Oh, insomnia, I know you inside out and backwards (and yeah, heard of that book, too funny). I go to bed. I sweat. I itch. My back hurts. I sweat. I itch. My hips hurt. I flop around like a carp on the grass. I sweat. I itch. I fling myself around some more. I get up to use the bathroom. I come back and snort and flip around some more. Then I get up and go to work. I have tried all things. I just suck at sleeping. I used to sleep. It has gotten worse every year. Let’s have a not sleepover!
omg…this made me laugh out-loud…I have been there, done that so many times I can’t count. And I did take sleeping pills for almost 5 years until I found myself sleep-eating and gaining poundage that I couldn’t figure out where in the f….k it was coming from. Gave up the sleeping pills, didn’t lose the weight, and continue to battle sleep issues. I wish I could tell you it gets better, but whatever you are doing now seems to work, so keep it up.
Well, I’m joining my friends who’ve already posted here because I’ve talked to both of them about this very topic! I finally had to resort to a sleep aid because it was giving my some serious health issues. It’s non-narcotic and it does not make me a zombie {at least no more than I am normally}. The doctor said simply: ‘Don’t lay there staying awake. Take one.’ It has helped tremendously since I’d already done all your above named remedies to no avail. Good luck!
Ok–I won’t even talk about the title of this blog post because I am trying to erase it from my mind!:)
I went through this same exact thing-oh hormones….sigh. To make my very long experiential story short-I have been taking Maca Root (really….research it) and Melatonin and I sleep sooooo good now I almost feel guilty because so many of my friends don’t…
Loved laughing through this with you….
Menopause(pre, post, whatever)..such joy. And I have read that book – hysterical!
I was awake at 1 AM, 2 AM, 3 AM… I was going to call you so we could laugh hysterically. There has to be sleep. Somewhere. There has to be. Help me make it through this day….
i can so feel your pain. for a couple of YEARS this happened to me, except that i’d fall asleep like a zombie, only to wake up two hours later, hot and sweaty and anxious. i went the melatonin route till that stopped working (i found out that you can build up an immunity to it over time. talk about rubbing salt into the wound!). then i discovered reading books, hard-cover, turn-the-page books, and that really seemed to be the trick. it only takes me a couple of pages and i’m out till 5:30 the next morning when i wake up. as far as running, i run first thing in the morning, and then have a piece of fruit in the afternoon. no caffeine after 11:00 a.m. , no beer or wine at all, and i’m trying right now to limit my computer time after supper to just my 365 photo post. but reading really sends me over the edge. so happy to read that you’re feeling more rested! : )
My daughter is going to have a baby any day now. I keep thinking I’m going to miss her call (water broke for baby #1 at 2am). My husband travels for work and the bed seems hugh. I can hear the dog chewing on her paws. I am on month #4 with no “aunt Flo”. My neck itches, I sweat like a teeage boy and can feel the whiskers growing on my chin while thinking about where I last left my good tweezers. I’m not sure I will EVER sleep a full night again. 3am I hate you!!!
Sheesh!
Okay first the book… isn’t it great! Now the insomnia. I get it so bad. I am going to try your suggestions, but I love to watch my iPad in bed! Dang. I know it is not good, but we don’t have a TV in our room. Read Cathy, read! I usually can go to sleep, but don’t stay asleep. I long for those days when I could sleep for hours. Great post Kelly and nice to know I am not alone with this struggle.
Sleep has always been a problem for me too
I went through the same thing a number of years ago. A combo of hormonal changes and a very stressful job. I hate taking pills too so I did a lot of the same things as you, plus I would get up in the middle of the night, make some warm milk and then read something…Before I knew it I had fallen back to sleep. I also meditated to learn how to quiet my mind. I took action to deal with the job issues. Today, I am happy to say insomnia is behind me…Here’s hoping yours will be temporary, Kelly!