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my not-so-perfect life

i would like to show you my favorite photography trick.  ready?  ok here goes.

photo #12013 04 04_2357web

photo #22013 04 04_2361web

see? isn’t that an awesome?

in case you were wondering, both of these photos were taken with a few seconds of each other. but each one tells a little different story. in the first photo, i had my camera about ten inches away from the flower. plus i also had my camera set to a very large aperture setting so that the rest of the photo would be blurry. i wanted to focus on the flower. get it? (so punny i know).

the second photo is the rest of the story. it’s my kitchen on any given day. dishes by sink, junk mail in pile on the counter, the dishwasher with a broken spring that won’t stay shut unless you shut it all the way. it’s an honest depiction of any given day in my life. but the real clinker here is that today i chose to show you the rest of the story. and i know that you probably don’t give a rat’s ass about the condition of my kitchen. but it is important to me today to show you.

the thing about blogging is that i create the content that goes out into the world. and i would just like to state for the record right now that everything i have put out there on the interwebs – every silly story, every pouring out of my heart – is 100 percent true. it’s really important to me that you know that.   but it’s not the whole story. 

i know you’re probably wondering, why all of this today…what’s the big deal. well i’ll tell you.

so a month or so ago, i was having dinner with some dear friends. and on the way home, one of my girlfriends joked to me, ‘you know, from your blog it seems like you have the perfect life.’ and i know she was joking because she knows me, she knows my life, and she knows how completely imperfect it is. we had a good laugh about it and that was that.  but to be honest, it kind of stuck with me and has been lingering around the background of my mind. well then the other day this same sentiment (from someone else) popped up again. and now it’s starting to bother me because…

my life is not perfect.

you know that right? please say yes, because it’s important to me that you know this.

now i am the first one to admit that i am terrible about talking about my problems. {seriously, just ask my mom.} it’s one (of many) of my critical flaws. i know this. and i am really working on it. but at the same time, i’m not sure that putting all my dirty laundry here on the web is answer. my blog has always been, for me, a place to celebrate the good in my life and a place to share the joy and beauty that i see with others.

now that i think about it, i guess i can see how just by reading my blog it might imply that my life is really good. which my life is really good. i am so blessed in a million ways and i know it. but my life is also full of a lot of challenges. i worry about our finances (the recession didn’t do us any favors) just like everyone else. i argue with my husband. i quarrel with my child. i constantly struggle with trying to squeeze too much into too short amount of time and therefore feel overwhelmed so much of the time. i’m not complaining (see this is why i hate putting this kind of shit on my blog) i just want you to know that my life is not perfect.

the other part of this issue is that a lot of times, my problems don’t just involve me. i mean i have no problem sharing my own personal struggles with empty-nesting and discovering what’s next for me. but when my problems involve others, well…i don’t know…somehow it just doesn’t seem right. and so i don’t.

so why am i telling you this today?  because someone in my life who i love dearly is suffering. i’m so worried and the worst part of it is that there is nothing i can do to help. no amount of cupcakes, or flowers, or ralph waldo emerson quotes can help. and i feel so completely helpless and utterly powerless. i honestly don’t know what else to say or how else to say it.

all i can do is put my faith in my good and loving God. and so i do what i always do in times of trial…pray. 

Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, beloved, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is pleasing, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. (Philippians 4:6-8)

i know that i am not the only person in the world who is facing difficult situations.  and so i whatever challenges and struggles you might be facing (or your loved ones), i offer up this prayer for you too. 

2013 04 04_2379web

peace, kelly

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Comments

  1. Carrie says

    April 4, 2013 at 10:01 pm

    I know I always say how I love your posts but…….. OMG! I LOVE YOUR POST TONIGHT! You inspire so many people whether you realize it or not… YOU DO! I can’t express how much you remind me it’s ok just to be me and we all go through struggles! You are truely a woman, wife, mother and friend of grace and understanding!! I am praying for your loved one! They are VERY LUCKY AND BLESSED to have you!! All things in Gods time! He will make the right things happen. 🙂 love you friend!

    Reply
  2. K and S Inn says

    April 4, 2013 at 11:12 pm

    We all need prayer sent in our behalf.. never know who might be in need.. lovely you are.. all the best blessing sent your way.. and your friends..
    Hugs

    Reply
  3. Mom says

    April 5, 2013 at 12:17 am

    “Blessed am I among women, and blessed is the fruit of my womb”. I cannot believe in this whole world any mother could have a more beautiful (in countenance and in spirit), compassionate, kind, wise and all around wonderful daughter than I. I am truly “blessed”. Our family is truly “blessed” because you’re in it. I love you Kelly!

    Reply
  4. elke says

    April 5, 2013 at 2:59 am

    a wonderful post, Kelly. Yes, we all have wonderful, messy, challenging lifes.
    You are truly a blessing. Reading this today does me a world of good. Thank you

    Reply
  5. Katie says

    April 5, 2013 at 6:14 pm

    you are a good, good friend. whoever is going through their own personal hell is blessed indeed to have you by their side. and thank you for showing us your real side. so many times we get carried away by thinking that everyone else’s life is so much better than ours and more perfect, when really it isn’t. thanks for keeping it real.

    Reply
  6. Cathy H says

    April 5, 2013 at 6:59 pm

    I assure you that I do know your life is not perfect and neither is mine. Like you I want to share just the every day moments and the joys in my life. Like you, I keep my negative or worrisome thoughts to myself. But, sometimes we just need to be ourselves, let it out, say it, or write it down. One good thing about that, you get several extra friends praying for you!

    Reply
  7. Ashling says

    April 8, 2013 at 3:16 pm

    Gasp—not perfect? I feel so deceived!! LOL….I love your blog, and that you share your life with us, but none of us ever tell the whole true story…in part because we usually can’t see our own whole true story. Your blog is a gift to your readers, because it’s what you’re sharing of yourself, with grace and humor and warmth. I’m so sorry to hear your loved one is suffering; guessing like many of us, you’d willingly take on that pain yourself rather than watch her/him suffer, Been there…it’s brutal. But if you are your self with that person, if you share as generously as you do here, you are doing something. It may not be all you want, may not make it all go away, but you are a gift and a comfort, and that’s important. Wishing you all…peace.

    Reply
  8. Kimmy says

    April 8, 2013 at 6:48 pm

    I still think your life seems pretty darn perfect! I wasn’t joking when I said it, but it’s good to know you’re human too (not that I didn’t know THAT already)! ? you – becoming friends with you again after a 25 year lapse makes my life just a wee bit more perfect too. And I need the help! ????

    Reply

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Hi There! I’m Kelly. I am a wife, mom, light seeker, homemaker, and storyteller. From an empty nest to an abundant life, all it took was a little time, a lot of faith, and the courage to see my life differently.

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