This month’s OLW assignment was all about taking action and making deliberate choices that would manifest my word *TRY* in my life.
For me, this month wasn’t about taking small actions. No, this month came down to one BIG decision.
Once and for all, was I going to listen to voice of HOPE or not.
I guess I should preface this by saying that I am a terrible decision maker. If something needs to be overanalyzed or worried to death, I am your (wo)man.  Pray about it – of course.  Pros and cons list – you betcha. Drive my family and friends crazy talking about it – oh you better believe it. Cry like a big baby – yup, did that too. 
The thing is, when I went back and looked at my original intentions, I realized that I had actually invited all this frustration.
…But because of the very nature of the word *try*, I also accept that the following things may happen. I may:
- embarrass myself
- feel uncomfortable
- be frustrated
- fail miserably
Most of the time, my OLW is like background music in my mind. But this month my word was more like my Fitness Bootcamp coach shouting at me as I struggle through the 37th Burpee of the morning, “YOU WANT SOMETHING YOU NEVER HAD, YOU GOTTA DO SOMETHING YOU NEVER DONE!”
It would have been so easy to bypass all that frustration and just give up. And I was totally prepared to do just that. Doubt and Fear were playing in stereo, “Who do you think you are anyway? It’s a stupid idea. You’re not even that talented.” But then I remembered something that my mom used tell my little brother and me, “The harder choice is usually the right one.”
So I guess the question is – Why is it so hard for me to choose HOPE?
I think part of it is fear of failure – if I don’t TRY anything new then there is no possibility of failing at something. But mostly I think it’s because the voice of HOPE is so very hard to hear in the midst of blaring negativity. HOPE is more like a tiny little whisper of the heart that pleads, “Please don’t give up on us.”
In the end, I chose HOPE…I did not give up on my Pinspiration series. And you know what happened?? Absolutely nothing. On the outside that is – the Earth kept right on revolving around the Sun and not once has anyone called me out as a two-bit Pinterest whore. Because guess what? Nobody cares! Don’t get me wrong – I know my family and friends care about me. But the world at large could not care less.
What a liberating discovery!!
So that’s the thing…if all of this nonsense is in my head, then that means it’s all up to me – I get to choose. I get to choose what my life looks like and I get to choose who to listen to.
And from now on, I’m choosing HOPE.
So much power in one little word.
Thank you so much for stopping by my blog. Next you should be directed to Heidi at http://mommy.heidimdavis.com. If you get lost along the way, you can see the entire list of participants below.
Peace, Kelly
- Margie  http://xnomads.typepad.com/blog/one-little-word
- Monica  http://scrapinspired.com/
- Jill   http://jillconyers.com/
- Jenn    www.studiojenn.blogspot.com
- Kara    http://iwannabemewhenigrowup.blogspot.com
- Cheri   http://cheriandrews.blogspot.com
- Catherine http://myview-catherine.blogspot.com
- Nikki   www.inkyart.com.au
- Cindy   http://www.cynthiacrysdale.com/
- Lisa    http://backtoallen.com/category/one-little-word/
- Donna   http://holimess.blogspot.com/
- Coley   www.coleybelle.blogspot.com
- Naomi   http://poeticaperture.com
- Stephanie http://playinghouseinmaryland.blogspot.com
- Ruth    http://suburbansahm.blogspot.com
- Eydie   www.whatwecreate.net
- Janet   http://lifeinsideascrapbookroom.blogspot.com
- Orange Gearle   http://orangegearle.blogspot.com
- Amanda    http://scrappnbee.blogspot.com
- Jen     www.jenritchie.com
- Melissa SÂ Â Â Â Â Â Â Â http://blog.mshanhun.com
- Kaylea   www.myscrappylife.com
- Missus Wookie   http://www.mrswookieswanderings.blogspot.co.uk/
- Cindy   http://seriousplay.typepad.com
- Beth   www.thesingularlyordinary.blogspot.com
- Tere    http://terecontodomicorazon.blogspot.com/
- Kelly   https://ehr.urk.mybluehost.me <============== you are here
- Heidi   http://mommy.heidimdavis.com
Glad you were able to find clearness over the Pinterest saga, I empathise and recognize the over analysis of pros and cons… Decided some time ago that my blog and scrapping were for me first, my family/friends second and if the rest of the world liked it hurrah but if not – that was o.k. (although yes slightly disappointing of course…)
Thank you for sharing your journey with your word, HOPE. It is amazing how that little voice (or voices) in our heads can bring us down sometimes more than any real individuals. Love the quote at the end of the post! Thanks for sharing and hope to see you next month as well! -Amanda (Scrappnbee)
You are too funny! I do the same circular thinking in my own mind too and blow up a little thing into something monumental. So great you were able to decide for yourself how to tame your thoughts. Are you talking about the Pinterest copywriting saga? If so, I got an email from them about how they changed their terms and conditions/legalese. I wonder if it made any difference?
I decided there is no room in my brain for that decision and am just ignoring it for now. 🙂
Way to go, Kelly. I love your embellishments too.
Kelly,
Are we soul sisters? We must be. I thought I was the most indecisive person alive. I also drive my hubby crazy. So often, I hear him say, “JUST make a decision. Last week it took me three days to decide on plane tickets to Maine. I just could not decide. Honestly, sometimes I find myself paralyzed when having to make decisions. It’s comforting to know that I am not the only one.
And, when I read we are a mess-maker extraordinaire, I just love that we have another common bond. So brave of you to boldly shared it in your “about me”. Love your openness.
I look forward to visiting with you again.
xoxo
Eydie
Great post Kelly. I can be incredibly indecisive at times or decisive with a lot of second guessing. You had me laughing about the nobody cares. I struggle with the blogging thing and I guess it is a matter of refocusing my perspective. I heard a great quote about insecurity being the comparison of our behind the scenes self with everyone else’s bright and shiny, outwardly presenting to the world ‘perfect’ selves. And don’t we all want to be popular, loved and adored. Trying just for yourself is the ticket woman! Love your page,you have such an aesthetic style and to be honest, your writing comes across as strong and assertive, not indecisive. Congrats on your process!
Okay I am so laughing now because I just quoted you the same phrase (paraphrased totally) before – seriously menopausal! I do love it though and through the fog of never feeling adequate I think try is so ambitious. You are so awesome! Love you for keeping it real girl.
I loved reading this and I love the burpee analogy 🙂
I’m looking forward to seeing your post next month.
[Fitness, Health and Happiness]
You have such a creative gift with your writing style. I so enjoyed reading your post. The photo and quote really brought home your words. Hope a wonderful word.
Catherine
Great post. I tend to over analyze and run things through my mind to the point of no action at all. I can totally relate to your angst. I love the idea of 52 weeks of pinspiration. I have tried some things from pinterest. It’s always fun. Choosing hope is pretty wonderful. I’m looking forward to seeing how you do.
I cannot express how “totally proud” I am of you for sticking with it!! Jealous people will always try to steal your “JOY”, “HOPE” and your “TRY”!! Stepping outside the box is never easy but that is why you have friends that can pick you up if for some reason you slip….we would never let you fall!! 🙂 I love you my sweet sweet friend!!!
Loved this post! So glad you made it past the negativity and went for it! Thanks for putting this up for us all to see!
Exactly! I took a week off of my PINspiration series too because of my Pinterest anxiety. Of course I started back up because I realized it JUST DOESN’T MATTER!
I love that you are chosing hope – keep it up!
Love how your word continues to speak into your life!
I very much enjoyed reading your post ~ you have beautiful handwriting.
I loved this post and can so identify with so much of what you shared. Glad you’re on the hop–sorry I’m late in commenting!