I will both lay me down in peace, and sleep, for the Lord only makes me abide {dwell} in safety. Psalm 4:8
As I have I have done is previous years, I have chosen a word to be a sort of touchstone for me in the coming months. When deciding on a word, I usually look for words that have broad meaning or that have many subtle nuances. I also like words that reflect and reinforce my desire to be present in my very real, ordinary life.
This year my word is ABIDE.
- Accept or act in accordance (as with a rule or decision) :: comply, obey, observe
- To bear patiently (someone, something) :: tolerate, bear, endure
- To wait for :: await
- To remain stable or steadfast, continue in place :: persist, keep
- to have one’s abode :: dwell, reside
This word, abide, is a bit of a departure from my previous years’ words {TRY, REACH, REFINE, PARE, CONNECT, TEND} in that it feels more passive. Less working towards some thing or goal and more accepting what is. And this year, what is is big changes.
Last month we found out that the company Tripp works for was getting acquired by another company whose operations reside in Kansas City. The deal closed at the end of the year, and so now, with Tripp’s new job, come lots of decisions that will greatly affect our lives and the lives of our family. The biggest decision will be if/how/when we will need to relocate. The thought of which scares me to death and hurts probably more than it should.
Right now, there are more questions than answers, and I think this has been the hardest thing for me. Trying to think through and map out a million different possible scenarios…it’s been causing me a fair amount of anxiety and making my head a very noisy, confusing place to be. My life feels like one giant loose end.
But the thought of spending the better part of the coming year in this anxious, fearful place made me determined to find a better way to cope with these changes. And then I realized that I have been here before…life as I have come to know it coming to an end, an uncomfortable season of change, fear of the unknown, the middle part.
…that middle part?? it is a time of life so full of grace. and i promise you that miracles are taking place. things are coming together. you have everything you need…it just takes a little time. a little patience. and a whole lot of faith. September 18, 2013
Oh yes, I have been here before.
Reading these words, I am reminded of my own journey and all those times when I tried so hard to figure things out. Not realizing that when I stopped fighting and leaned into those uncomfortable places…well, that’s where God does his best work. So, I am working on letting go of this need to have everything all figured out. “I don’t know” is no longer a cause for stress or anxiety, but rather a statement of trust and one of patiently bearing the unanswered questions. Remaining steadfast in faith as I wait on the Lord.
Because this I know for sure…that there has never been a time in my life when God has asked me to let go of something or leave something behind without the promise of something Good ahead. And so, as we begin the process of working through these decisions I want to do so with an open, grateful heart. I want to walk in hope and peace, trusting in the Goodness of God and His Providence over my life.
Peace, Kelly
I feel for you. I, too, love where I am and while I’m okay with the inevitable changes of kids getting older, etc., it is the unexpected, big ones that are hard to accept. My husbands job situation was headed for a big change last summer, which filled me with more anxiety than was necessary. In the end, everything worked out just fine, but there were a few sleepless nights until it did. Change can be good and exciting and invigorating, but only when I carefully plan for it (!). I wish you well during this process.
thank you so much carrie. i so appreciate your kind words. xo
I find living in the unknown places are hardest for me. If I know what’s going on then I can plan, then I can set my mind in the direction it needs to go in. Not knowing drives me crazy. I don’t think of myself as a control freak,,. but maybe I am.
I will be praying for you – that God protect your heart and prepare you for what is ahead.
I love the word abiding . . .I thought of using that as my word this year. The word abiding, to me is such a peaceful word,,,but also one of such discipline. I pray that as you abide in Him you will find direction and peace.
thank you suzy. it’s so comforting to know that i am not the only one who struggles. xo
Wishing you peace in all that this year brings, Kelly, and keeping you in my prayers!
thank you so much dear friend. xoxo
Kelly, I am sure this is very, very difficult, and so I pass on to you something I learned not all that long ago…
Things have a way of working themselves out. We just kind of have to let it happen, and keep in check how we react to it.
I wish you all the very best, and I am sure that everything will be fine.
oh lisa. thank you so much for these kind, encouraging words. xoxo
There is so much stormy weather in Psalms… I like that you latched on to a quiet verse for guidance (and Comfort).
Best wishes for Peace and Comfort.