Sitting on Go

Dear Kelsey,

Your bags are packed with Nike shorts, T-shirts, and 27 pairs of shoes. Your dorm room stuff is boxed up and labeled with your name and room number. You and Daddy got your bank account set up for online transfers. You are ready to go.

It’s been a busy last couple of weeks getting everything together. Last Friday was fun going to Wal-Mart for a microwave and some last minute supplies and then shopping at Dillard’s for a cute “Pref Night” dress. (You are so beautiful, sweetie – don’t ever let anyone make you feel otherwise.) And this past weekend it was so great just hanging out. It meant a lot to Daddy and me that you chose to stay home and I know it meant a lot to your grandparents as well. Personally, I’m also happy that we got to finally catch up on all our “Housewives.”

This week has flown by. Last night you and your friends got one more chance to hang out before all going your separate ways. And I know that today was hard on you saying goodbye to Caleb and Sam. I could tell the other day that it was starting to really hit home with you. It’s so hard to believe that tomorrow you’ll be leaving for college.

I’ll be honest, since we’ve been home from vacation I’ve walked around with a lump in my throat and a weight on my chest. I think Carrie described it best when she said, “I feel like a pendulum.” It’s so true. I don’t think it’s any big secret that lately my emotions have oscillated between joy and dread. On one side of the swing is excitement. I am so proud of you and all of your accomplishments, and I just know that college is going to be such a wonderful, incredible experience. You are going to make new friends and experience so many new things. The best years of your life are in front of you and your entire world is going to open up in ways you can’t even imagine. But then gravity sets in and I swing to the dark side. It’s hard to imagine not seeing your sweet face at the bar in the kitchen doing homework or sitting with us at the dinner table every night. And its hard coming to terms with that fact that even though you’ll still come home and we’ll always have a great relationship, things will never be quite the same.

Yeah, I know – I’ve been a real treat to live with.

But the truth of the matter is that I know everything is going to be OK and eventually things will return to equilibrium. And what is so very important to me is that you leave knowing that you are a special, wonderful child of God with your own journey to explore and your own unique purpose to discover. There will probably be some tough days ahead, so rely on your faith and remember that Daddy and I are ALWAYS here for you whenever you need support and encouragement. Most of all, just know that Daddy and I believe in you.

And we love you so very much.

Love, Mom