When I originally wrote this post in February 2014, I didn’t realize that the fear of happiness was a real phenomenon. What I have learned since then is that fear is a powerful emotion that the brain uses to protect us from danger. And that is a really good thing. Sometimes though, when we experience a happy moment and then a subsequent painful experience (either physical or emotional), the brain can get its wires crossed (so to speak) and then go on to create an association between the two. And because our brain wants to protect us from this perceived danger, it will encourage us to avoid opportunities for happiness.
Fear is such a powerful emotion that our brain works harder to avoid pain than it does to seek out positive experiences that fill us with joy and happiness.
This is why it takes courage to be happy. Happiness requires that we open our hearts and risk being disappointed or hurt. Sometimes though, that can be a lot easier said than done. I get it. I really do. This post is proof. But one thing I have learned these past several years is that joy is always worth the risk.
So perhaps you recall the other day when I shared this photo of these daffodils in bloom in my front garden.
This particular bunch of daffodils are always the first to bloom… last year I think they bloomed towards the end of January. But of course after this winter, I’m not surprised it’s taken them a bit longer.
Even still. Every year, when I see that they have bloomed, it just makes me so happy. And I think I’ve taken a picture of them in bloom every year since I planted them too.
I know…don’t say it….I’m such a goob.
{And as a completely unrelated sidenote, it’s interesting to see how my photography has evolved over the past few years.}
Anyway, yesterday I went out to check on my daffodils. Say hi. Tell them how much I love them. And I noticed that a few of them were bent over a little. You see we’ve had another cold snap…it is so totally late-winter Oklahoma weather with temps in the 70’s one week and 30’s the next. And I guess some of them got a little frost bitten.
Well I went back in the house and got my garden scissors and cut those six or so blooms. Then I brought them back inside and plopped them into an empty jelly jar. And I set them on the kitchen counter next to me while I practiced my calligraphy a little.
If you happen to follow me on Instagram, you might know that I am participating in the #100happydays challenge…a cool thing my delightful daughter brought to my attention. And so once a day I have been posting a shot of something that makes me happy.
Yesterday it happened to be the new calligraphy supplies that came in the mail.
So as I sat there, first practicing my letterforms and alphabet, then moving on to that great quote I stumbled across the other day, I started thinking about happiness. And my sweet little daffodils. And then I started to feel bad for them because here they go and bloom and spread their joy and happiness, only to get whacked on the head by winter. And I wondered if they had known that a really cold snap was coming, would they have had the courage to bloom so soon?
Yes, once again I am projecting my own emotional neuroses on my garden flowers.
Of course these daffodils don’t think about winter. They don’t worry what might be coming down the pike. They simply bloom according to their design, and if winter comes along and interferes with that, well then so be it. My daffodils refuse to let the threat of cold weather get the best of them…they courageously share their joy and spread their happiness no matter what old man winter has in store.
Hello Kelly…this is Spring…here is your wakeup call.
You guys, I see it. How these past couple of months I have let fear drive my happiness. Or lack thereof. And what’s strange about that is, generally speaking, I consider myself to be a fairly happy person. I have a good life – a small life, but a good life. I have good relationships with my loved ones. I can do most of what I need to do and some of what I want to do. I surround myself with happy things. I have a strong faith and an profound joy that comes from having a close relationship with God. But lately I have been a little unhappy. And now I can see…. how I have been scared to be happy for fear of unhappy things that might come back to visit.
I guess you could say I have a fear of getting whacked on the head by life.
And then there’s also this….sometimes it is hard for me to be happy when people I love are hurting or unhappy. And I know….it’s not healthy…I just haven’t quite figured out how to be compassionate and empathetic and caring and happy all at the same time.
But here’s the thing, my sweet little early-bird daffodils didn’t worry about all the other daffodils in my yard who weren’t blooming yet. And I say yet, because they will bloom. Spring will not pass them by. It’s just not their time to bloom… yet.
So after thinking about this a little {or a lot. because you know that overthinking things is a special talent of mine} maybe I’ll take a cue from my garden and go ahead and bloom and be happy. Listen to my heart. Regardless of the fact that more winter weather is predicted for the weekend. And maybe I’ll bloom and be happy knowing that my loved ones will have their time to bloom and be happy soon too.
You know…it’s just like God. It’s just like Him to take a few daffodils that are a little frost-bitten, a little wilted, and infuse them with Grace. And then make them a vehicle for Love, Peace, and Joy.
My sincere wish is that they bring you a little happiness too.
Love, Kelly
Leave a Reply